General

I have really enjoyed some of the threads about this topic lately. I do understand how hard it is for thin people who prefer dating us fatties, though I'm not always sure some of the thin folks extend their imagination far enough to 'walk a mile in our moccasins'.

But tonight in chat, I heard something I found outright shocking. An active member said he keeps a separate profile on a social networking site for his BBW friends. The room was surprised, and everyone encouraged him not to separate the two realms of his life, to which he said:

"I hate to be practical, but I get a lot of my work through Facebook contacts - we are in a recession _ I don't want to give anyone any excuse not to throw work my way."

That is a direct quote, copied straight from the chat window. A number of chatters were shocked and said so, and after a few attempts to spin it, the writer left the room in a huff of 'I'm so misunderstood.'

I really feel like people who are that fatphobic have no place here--how can you expect us to love you or desire you or even be friends when you're embarrassed by us? Am I alone here?

In case it helps someone tip a decision someday in the future, I just want to say the following:

There have been times when I've been without work, and in serious need of employment and food and rent money, and I've still turned down work from racists and misogynists.

If I had to do it again, I would. I don't need money so badly that I need work for haters. My friends and family respect my ethics, and they would take me in if I were so badly affected by the decision. It never came to that, because things usually work if you put your head down and work hard--even during a recession. For me, being able to live with myself matters more than whether I can only afford rice and beans for a month.

Perhaps his comment was taken out of context, and he meant he didn't want to add people he knows by virtue of discussing his fetish etc. Surely someone wouldn't be that deluded into just not adding fat people they know in general?

I understand your position Bunter. Not familiar with the background in this, but in general I think there is such a thing as too much openness.

Putting preference for partners aside for a moment, I believe people should have the right to decide how much they want to share about themselves online and I believe many people have separate communities they take part in and I see no reason for example professional community should be entangled with ones related to your personal life. For example I have a linkedin profile for work related friends and Facebook for real life friends whom I've either met outside FB or know really well in general.

I see no reason to go around toting to everyone you're an FA. Awesome if you like to do so, but if someone doesn't its their business.

Of course its entirely different when you're in public with a BBW. Then its not acceptable to pretend you're not an FA no matter what situation.

-Sev